Dilemma’s are funny. Like looking up at the Great Wall of China from the ground, being awestruck, then realizing you’re on the wrong side, type of funny. The problem is simple, but solving it may be impossible. My itlog dilemma is like that.
First, itlog is an acronym for “In the Land of Giants”, my fiction series mentioned in my first blog post, and the subject of the “itlog” page above. Second, like the traveler to the Great Wall, I did not realize I was in a dilemma until I was.
At the Writer’s Digest conference pitch slam in 2016, I had huge success pitching “Giants” and copies of my pages flew around the internet to more than my fair share of agents. After a suitable period my rejections started to flow in.
They were polite and held a common theme, even phrases, which sparked my natural curiosity. Was there an agents rejection letter style manual, complete with canned phrases suitable for copying and pasting into all forms of correspondence, or was there a true issue, that was too difficult to state. So I asked. All of them.
My two responses were eye opening and exciting. Now I am in no way afraid of rejection. High school, a decade of dating, job hunting and credit apps had toughened me up quite a bit. So, these two responses were like gold, not poison. One explained that the world and characters I had created were too different and challenging to market for that particular agent. Actually, I was deeply encouraged from this observation, and concluded that I was on the right track.
The second was my trip to the wall without me realizing it. The agent was hand picked by me from extensive research. I had made an early introduction through LinkedIn, which was my hook at the pitch slam. She was as pleasant and professional as I hoped she would be, so my trust in her words and intent was well placed. She did not connect with my protagonist and promised she would consider my rewrite.
Simple enough. (Place cuss word here). I enjoyed deepening my friend. He was now more vulnerable and visible, and everything worked until about halfway through the story. All of the new angst and challenge had sucked the innocence out of my story.
This is a big deal. These characters are simple Riverfolk, in love with their world and how they fit into it. The villains and evil of what they are facing are supposed to stand in stark juxtaposition with who they are. This contrast seems to be slipping away, and frankly, I am not sure how to bring it back.
I have been stuck here for a year.
But here is the beauty of writing this out. I have come to the realization maybe that is what is supposed to happen, and the magic of the story will be restoring that innocence in the end. If I am feeling this way, then possibly my readers will sense that same loss and rejoice when they find it again. Suddenly that wall isn’t as big as it looks. Gotta go.
BTW listen to the song I picked from “O Brother Where Art Thou” to get a sense of the innocence I am talking about. Number 3 on the music player. Enjoy.
words & worlds 